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23/04/2004
Structured support needed for 'coming out' says researcher
Northern Ireland urgently needs structured support services for parents who are trying to cope with the sudden knowledge that a son is gay.
That's the finding of a landmark survey by a University of Ulster researcher who says a mother whose son has ‘come out’ as gay has virtually nowhere to turn for advice.
Tailor-made advice services would dispel old myths and give mothers confidence to deal positively with what is a painful, confusing and tense time for the whole family, says Cathy Falconer, a postgraduate student at UU's Magee campus in Derry.
Mrs Falconer decided to survey a group of mothers as a result of her own experience in coming to terms with her son's gay disclosure and encountering a lack of advice facilities for parents.
She found they had the same emotions and difficulties - pent-up worry, concern, weighed down with stereotypes of homosexuality and an almost complete absence of support and advice in coming to terms with the news.
“My son, Barry, was 17 when he told me he was gay. That was four years ago. I was totally devastated. I was literally falling apart,” said Cathy, who has devised a ‘coping strategy’ model as a result of her research.
“I didn't know any other mothers whose son was gay. I had nowhere to go to for advice. I was basically just left on my own to get on with it.
“That was the reason I started doing the research. The mothers I talked to were all brilliant, and they were very very glad to talk to me. When I interviewed them, I found that everyone of them had gone through something similar to what I had.”
Dr Mary Jenkins, Cathy's supervisor at the University's Magee campus, applauded the project and the quality of research, conducted against rigorous academic benchmarks despite a dearth of available research sources.
“There is almost nothing in print on this subject in Northern Ireland," Dr Jenkins said. "Cathy had no local research resources to call on when she went out to conduct her interviews. Most of the background texts for the topic derives from outside, often from America.
“This piece of work is breaking new ground,” she added.
Dr Jenkins hopes that Cathy's work will be published, initially in Northern Ireland, and that it may spark fresh scrutiny of the need for support structures for women in Cathy's position.
"This research has highlighted the need for backup services which would have an impact on all the family because, with advice available in a network or group setting, people would be able to say 'I'm not alone'," Dr Jenkins concluded.
(MB)
That's the finding of a landmark survey by a University of Ulster researcher who says a mother whose son has ‘come out’ as gay has virtually nowhere to turn for advice.
Tailor-made advice services would dispel old myths and give mothers confidence to deal positively with what is a painful, confusing and tense time for the whole family, says Cathy Falconer, a postgraduate student at UU's Magee campus in Derry.
Mrs Falconer decided to survey a group of mothers as a result of her own experience in coming to terms with her son's gay disclosure and encountering a lack of advice facilities for parents.
She found they had the same emotions and difficulties - pent-up worry, concern, weighed down with stereotypes of homosexuality and an almost complete absence of support and advice in coming to terms with the news.
“My son, Barry, was 17 when he told me he was gay. That was four years ago. I was totally devastated. I was literally falling apart,” said Cathy, who has devised a ‘coping strategy’ model as a result of her research.
“I didn't know any other mothers whose son was gay. I had nowhere to go to for advice. I was basically just left on my own to get on with it.
“That was the reason I started doing the research. The mothers I talked to were all brilliant, and they were very very glad to talk to me. When I interviewed them, I found that everyone of them had gone through something similar to what I had.”
Dr Mary Jenkins, Cathy's supervisor at the University's Magee campus, applauded the project and the quality of research, conducted against rigorous academic benchmarks despite a dearth of available research sources.
“There is almost nothing in print on this subject in Northern Ireland," Dr Jenkins said. "Cathy had no local research resources to call on when she went out to conduct her interviews. Most of the background texts for the topic derives from outside, often from America.
“This piece of work is breaking new ground,” she added.
Dr Jenkins hopes that Cathy's work will be published, initially in Northern Ireland, and that it may spark fresh scrutiny of the need for support structures for women in Cathy's position.
"This research has highlighted the need for backup services which would have an impact on all the family because, with advice available in a network or group setting, people would be able to say 'I'm not alone'," Dr Jenkins concluded.
(MB)
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Northern Ireland WeatherToday:A very mild, but mostly cloudy day, although with some bright or sunny spells. It will be mostly dry in the morning, but a little patchy light rain or drizzle at times in the afternoon. Maximum temperature 14 °C.Tonight:A band of heavier rain will move east during the evening before clearing eastwards after midnight. then mostly dry through the early hours, but a little rain towards dawn. Minimum temperature 8 °C.
